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11_영아부 성품훈련 간증문_설푸른 집사

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영아부 성품훈련 간증문-설푸른 집사​

 

안녕하세요. 3평원 다낭세계로목장(전용석 목자님)에 설푸른입니다. 

 

1bdd0b80825e741db44dcd004c1729d3_1549095 

 

저는 지금 8세, 5세 두 아들을 키우고 있는 엄마입니다. 두 아들을 키우면서 지금도 훈련이 필요하고 계속 깨어져야 하지만 영아부 성품훈련을 통해 배우고 느꼈던 점들을 나누고자 합니다.

첫째를 영아부 졸업시키고 둘째를 낳고 다시 영아부에 와서 예배를 드리면서 예배의 회복보다는 점점 지쳐가고 갈급한 마음이 있었습니다. 아이들이 예배시간에 잘 앉아 집중하는 것은 다른 가정의 말 잘 듣는 아이들의 이야기 같았고, 비위 맞추며 울지만 말아라 라는 생각으로 예배시간을 버티는데 더 신경을 썼기 때문입니다. 좀 크면 되겠지, 아직은 어리니까, 오늘은 잠을 못자서 등등 이유를 대며 버티게 되니 조금만 아이의 컨디션이 좋지 않으면 예배 자리를 피하게 되었습니다. 

 

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작은 아이 서하가 3살이 되었을 때 “아, 이제 아이에게 벗어나 나도 자유롭게 대예배 가서 예배드릴 수 있겠구나.” 속으로 엄청 기쁜 마음이 들었습니다.  그런데 12월에 영아부가 4살까지로 바뀌어서 일년 더 함께 드려야 한다는 청천벽력 같은 소식이 들렸습니다. 어쩔 수 없다는 마음으로 예배시간에 참석하고 이미 머릿속에 많은 육아서를 통독하여 자리잡은 교만함과 이게 되겠어? 이것도 되는 아이나 되겠지 라는 의심 가득한 성품 훈련을 그래 하라고 하시는 대로 나도 한번 해보자 라는 마음으로 전도사님이 말씀하시는 적용방법들을 꼼꼼히 적어 실천해보았습니다. 방석에 앉아서 5분 기다리기, 엄마가 부르면 “네, 어머니.” 바로 대답하기, 엘리베이터 열림 버튼 눌러 기다려 주기, 놀이터에 있는 쓰레기 주워 오기 등 별거 아닌 것 같았지만 아이들이 반응하는 것을 보니 내 아이들도 할 수 있는 아이들이었구나, 무엇보다 엄마인 저에게 기다려줄 수 있는 마음들을 허락하여 주시고 내 마음속에 화가 점점 줄어들어 아이들에게 하는 반응들이 많이 바뀌었음을 보게 되었습니다. 

 

1bdd0b80825e741db44dcd004c1729d3_1549095 

 

성품활동지를 받으면 엄마가 훈련해야 하는 부분이 훨씬 많기 때문에 얼른 적어지지 않는 부분도 있고, 남편과 아이, 또 이웃에 대해 내 속은 그렇지 않지만 포장되어 있었던 부분을 드러내야 할 때도 있어 부담스러웠던 적도 많았습니다. 하지만 성품활동지에 성실히 적어 내려가는 것 안에서 나를 돌아볼 수 있었고, 아내, 엄마, 아이 친구 엄마를 대하는 이웃의 입장에서 매일 한 가지 실천해야 하는 부분이 있으니 내 안에 예수님의 성품이 훈련되고 있었습니다. 아이도 매일 성품정의와 말씀을 읽고 동그라미 치며 함께 삶에서 매일 깨어 살아지는 것처럼 큰 힘이 되었습니다. 

예쁘긴 하지만 고집 때문에 감당이 안되었던 둘째아이 서하는 성품 뺏지를 어린이집에 열심히 챙겨 가서 그 동물의 성품을 이야기하고, 집에서 계속 연관된 성품활동을 하니 예배시간에 전도사님 말씀에도 잘 집중하게 되었습니다. 5살된 지금도 큐티아이로 잘 연결되어 매일 묵상하고 유치부에서도 바른 태도로 예배하고 있습니다.

 

영아부 성품교육은 아직은 보이지 않는 하나님을 믿는 믿음보다는 아빠, 엄마의 신앙을 따라 살아가는 우리 아이들에게 예수님이라면 이렇게 하셨을꺼야 라는 것을 몸과 마음으로 실천할 수 있는 첫번째 방법인 것 같습니다.  이것이 끝이 아니기 때문에 둘째아이 4세를 졸업시키고 영아부 교사로 남게 되었습니다. 계속해서 성품교육을 적용하고 깨어져서 우리 아이들을 키우고 싶고, 영아부에서 저와 같이 아이들을 키우고 있는 부모님들과 함께 나누며 다음세대를 위해 더 기도하고 싶습니다. ​ 

 

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